This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
