Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
