she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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