he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
