Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Whoa Z and x make the same sound

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  (717): Whoa Z and x make the same sound http://tfl.nu/syb7
  Replies (30) Good night (3365) Bad night (583) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.

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  (605): I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix. http://tfl.nu/17el
  Replies (7) Good night (2540) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  So did the night end well for you?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text

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  (847): So did the night end well for you? (248): I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text http://tfl.nu/n8vz
  Replies (31) Good night (1046) Bad night (8978)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.

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  (330): Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT. http://tfl.nu/98ye
  Replies (27) Good night (1187) Bad night (6054) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..

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  (913): Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one.. http://tfl.nu/0qqy
  Replies (9) Good night (4115) Bad night (1054) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion

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  (201): On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion http://tfl.nu/9p9w
  Replies (47) Good night (2354) Bad night (7961) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.

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  (205): He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero. http://tfl.nu/osga
  Replies (6) Good night (3333) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  370HSSV 0773H read that upside down

  (1-925): View more from California

  what are you doing with your life

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  (925): 370HSSV 0773H read that upside down (1-925): what are you doing with your life http://tfl.nu/25tc
  Replies (19) Good night (4889) Bad night (1135) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.

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  (978): Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea. http://tfl.nu/15nf
  Replies (8) Good night (698) Bad night (1286) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?

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  (785): She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right? http://tfl.nu/iw36
  Replies (20) Good night (3345) Bad night (982) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.

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  (847): My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan. http://tfl.nu/ww9p
  Replies (10) Good night (2297) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt
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  (387): View more from

  The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?

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  (387): The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them? http://tfl.nu/qjyv
  Replies (10) Good night (1302) Bad night (234) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league

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  (973): I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league http://tfl.nu/mvb2
  Replies (2) Good night (1126) Bad night (211)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.

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  (330): The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it. http://tfl.nu/56k9
  Replies (11) Good night (778) Bad night (273) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.

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  (513): You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when. http://tfl.nu/o3c9
  Replies (6) Good night (1047) Bad night (156)

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