Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
