uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
