none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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