I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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