His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
