We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
