i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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