You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
