I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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