DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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