the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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