I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
