It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
