I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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