He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
