Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
