Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize