she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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