I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
