youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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