You work out of a Hotel?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
