shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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