I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
