i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
