Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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