honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
