That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
