I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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