I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
