my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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