Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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