we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
