I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The Olympian is in my bed
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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