My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
God I need to hump something, right now.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
