I CAN MOONWALK!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
