Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
