I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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