So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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