You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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