Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
