I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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