I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Still dying that you shit outside
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize