things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
