I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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