Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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