So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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