If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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