whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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