'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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