Im at strip club and am horny
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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