I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
