Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Someone came in the potted fern
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
