i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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