so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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