hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
