He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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