Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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